Fall of the Killer-Angels



A new drawing arrives! This time, it's themed from a new story/plot/novelette that I had, yet again managed to, sprung out of nothingness; or thin air. Or whatever. But I digress, again.

Basically, this picture shows a Killer-Angel, caught off gaurd by the sudden agility of the exoskeleton suit. Which, so happens to be unofficially, and affectionately, called by its superiors as the Angel-Killer.

Got this story idea after, well again, listening to the song of an old-ish anime. Song name? Azurite (both versions) from the Heroic Age ending theme. As a matter of fact, I even thought up an ending PV related to this story using Azurite as the ending theme. XD. A little too ambitious I guess.

Seeing that this story focuses heavily on heavy action and character development more through silent scenes, facial expressions and body language, I decided to draw a comic out of it, using big-eye manga art style.

Anywayz, outta here.

More Random Drawings

Well, there's not much meaning behind this week's drawing. I just have a whim to draw these two characters. Actually, just wanted to draw something... Lolz.


Rikku, as outfitted in Final Fantasy X-2



Yuna, as outfitted in Final Fantasy X-2
(Somehow, this drawing looks a little weird. I can't figure out what)




LAI Chii Crab signs off here.

Salvation for the Knight


Well, another blog post on my latest drawing. As the title implies, my current drawing’s title is “Salvation for the Knight”. Another alternative name (though doesn’t make much sense) that I’d prefer is “Salvation: Forthe Knight”. I accidentally discovered the alternative name when saving the file name without entering any spaces.



Anyway, I draw this drawing’s inspiration after listening repeatedly to the 2nd ending theme of Gundam 00 Season 2. The song’s titled “Trust You” and was sung by Yuna Ito. While he full version has been released, I found out that I prefer the TV size version, as this is where the inspiration was drawn from anyway.

Link to the TV size version: here



The song’s pretty touching in my opinion. Unlike other ballads or song genres that flow at this pace, this song isn’t angsty about lost or unattainable love, or even about love (the lovey-dovey kind of love), this song actually feels like it is dedicated to salvation. Nevermind the “I love you, I trust you” part of the chorus; I felt it wasn’t particularly directed to anything tangible, rather it is abstract.



*Whenever I’m referring to the “Trust You” song, it is by convention that I am referring to the TV size version, or the short version featured at the end of Gundam 00, rather than the fully released version*





The song began with a rather sad… maybe more on the tired-of-life kind of piano. Then the backup singer(s) came, giving the distinctive “HaH--HaH--HaH--HaH" tune to it. Honestly, this is the part which captivated me the most. Then came the rather slow rap-like singing of Yuna Ito.



While the verse gives the sense of tiredness (something like when we had just completed a tremendous task, and gave a sigh, but it isn’t a sigh of relief, more like just a sigh) to the song, the bridge (although short) injects some hope into it. It kind of gives the feeling like when we’re walking around aimlessly in a very large, very dark house, and then out in the window, we see a spotlight in the distance, tracing the ground and coming nearer to you so fast that, when it shines through the window and upon you, you were overwhelmed by the sheer brightness of it.



The chorus done its job, I would say that. But the part which really gave the inspiration to draw was the last line. At that moment, the picture that I had drawn immediately popped out in my head. The idea that I had wanted to give was that; salvation had descended. In fact, it was always there in the first place.



Till now, I haven’t decided that the Winged Salvation is an angel, or a valkyrie. Either way, it seems to impart salvation. I specifically chose a knight because of what people usually expected from a knight; honorable and ideally be a savior. However, as popularized by fictions (which, by some degree, could be based on some historical account), knights are a confused lot. They don’t know exactly what they are fighting for, being used more as a tool instead. As popularized, those that knew they were used as a tool became jaded and viewed that hope is just a mere figment of imagination. How would such a jaded knight feel, when in the midst of a battle frenzy, with the sword being swung around madly, the said knight were to suddenly come face-to-face with a tangible manifestation of hope?







LAI Chii Crab left here.

More rambling - Tears of a Machine

This post is being dedicated to another drawing I’ve made (well, I can’t really seem to write about something else… too mundane to me. That’s why I never keep a diary… heck… regressing again =P).

Tears of a Machine

Simplicity. That was what I had in mind. And with that in mind, I finished this in about an hour (the fastest drawing that I’ve ever made). To be honest, I’ve finished this about last week, the same day I finished Project Armageddon. I’m just too lazy to make a dedicated post for this drawing. Anyway, back to topic.

With simplicity in my mind, I restrained myself from shading it (to reflect source of light) and also from adding background. Initially, I also wanted to add in more droplets, to spark questions whether it was really tears that flowed out from the subject (Machine), or just rain falling down.

It looked too crowded and clunky after adding more droplets, so I decided against it. As for the fonts, well, I have no sense of “font fashion”, so experts in the field (probability of 1 to drop by here seems… implausible) seeing this might cringe at the uncreative fonts. Nevertheless, using “flow” and/or “bubble” theme for Tears seems to illustrate the privilege of humanity, while straight, sharp, and the calculated randomness of the black/white tone paints the stereotypical thoughts on the efficient Machine.

This drawing was inspired by a scene in the prologue of the main story (my fiction story).

*Regression ahead… but otherwise on topic*

Drawing this got me thinking… how do we define humanity? Is it a privilege that is automatically bestowed upon any entity born as a human? More specifically, it is a privilege bestowed upon a class/group/category/hierarchy/yadda yadda as long as it includes the one which proclaim, while excluding as many as possible. Many seem to agree with this, consciously or subconsciously.

But the definition of humanity is still not yet addressed, so I will try to do so. In layman understanding (I’m going to avoid to the cliché “As the Oxford Dictionary defines yedde yedde”), it means showing compassion or do not commit acts of cruelty. And by cruelty, it means those which tugged at your heart/moral compass, including the many which got away due to loopholes exploited from the definition by the Law.

Seriously, if humanity is defined as such as the layman’s understanding, why in Earth do we need Law to define it to us? Or even people exploiting loopholes in Law?

If that is human’s humanity, so why impose it upon others? Why do some have to insist that this Earth is ours to partake, non-human existences is ours to abuse? On the same note, why do some insists that a non-human existence rights must be voiced out, using human’s law and definition? (Most of them meant well, but still, think…) We may have the right to partake some, if not all, but under what impression that we have the right to define all?

(Using a very cliché sci-fi scenario) What if sentience is found in non-human existence? For example, as being found in machines? A fully operational artificial intelligence? (while many skeptics said it is impossible, but yeah, why are humans making the definitions again… O.O). Is it alive then? If not, how do we know one? Does it breathe? Does it eat? Can it be creative? Can it think? Converse? Maybe does it have a soul? Or can it cry?

Perhaps, instead of trying to define it all, we should ask, why do we need to so eagerly define? It seems to me that it’s like a child, throwing a fit, trying to get noticed. (Yeah yeah, some may accuse me of doing so myself, and I do not deny the possibility. I’m still human, duh)

To borrow a quote from an anime, Ergo Proxy, (some people’s theater mind: Oh no! Not another anime freak! I’ve seen that from a mile away. Yidd yiddi yoddo yoddo yuddu yuddu.)

"I think, therefore you are"

The need for people to live, on the definition of other people, in order not to be ignored.

Of Cobwebs and Dust - Clearing them all out

Whew, it seems like its been a while since I last post here (heck, it even seems like I haven't been visiting here too... o... whatever... technicalities technicalities...)


Well then, what am I going to do now? Nothing of interest (to the world) that had happened since the holidays began. Then, suddenly, I began to receive inspiration(s). I don't know the source of it, but I do know that whenever I got the feeling of an inspiration, I can draw and write! So maybe I'll be a little bit narcissistic by posting my drawings here!!! Wahahaha.



Project Armegeddon


This drawing took me 11 days to complete, from the day where I got that "inspiration feeling" (dang, that two words sounds weird) till today.

A little history first, before I go an monologue about my drawing. Project Armageddon is a little short story (which was completed, but I never wrote it down due to sheer laziness). Project Armageddon was born out of another novel in the works, and is a prequel to said novel, giving reasons for the antagonist's actions. If this short story of mine ever materialized as a book, this is the front cover that I would like it to have.

Now, about the drawing. This isn't my first time drawing stuff, but due to a lack of drawing lessons, the drawing didn't turn out quite as I expected. Although it didn't turn out as I had imagined, it still turned out well. I realized that in all my previous pursuit for perfection, the drawings turned out to be distorted. This time, I just let my fingers ran. Or was it my imagination? Anyway, the two main focuses of the drawing took a very good form (to the clueless, they're the tentacle-thingie and the beefed-up guy in a muscle-man-like pose... ok, they do have names, but I don't want to reveal their names just yet :P).

Initially, I wanted to finish the drawing there and then. But then, I thought, why don't I try inserting a background into it? Well, it was a challenge for me back then, as it always ended up being disastrous if I insert a background into it. This is mostly due to my lack of sense in dimensions and distances. The background would always appear warped as I tried to emulate how horizons would be viewed in reality.

Then, I thought, why don;t I go for a balance between perfection and oddity? Taking a lesson from CGI, where the closer we try to emulate reality through artificial means, the more we perceive it to be fake. (if you don't understand, compare between big-eyed anime drawings with for example Final Fantasy - The Spirits Within). With the oddities in the background being hidden in plain sight with the emulated reality, the background turned out quite well. Very well indeed!

Initially, while writing this post, I had imagined inserting some of life's values that I had gleaned from drawing this picture (yes, you read it right. I had a tendency of learning life values from almost any experiences that I encountered.). But then, I had a feeling that this post is getting too long, and also because I've forgetten what I wanted to write down. =P


Till next time!

A 3^rd Personality Emerges

This is the darkest side which I had ever experienced in my life. I appreciate criticism, but I DO NOT appreciate criticism laced with sarcasms; unconstructive criticisms. I would have swallowed such things had it been 10 years ago, but wake up world, and especially Fate, I am NOT 10 years ago. I may be benevolent, but no matter how benevolent a volcano is, when it explodes, it really EXPLODES! Enough people, stop the sarcasms, you've already skinned me of all my skin, I shall not take any more criticisms. Enough world, stop prodding me around, I'm already full of holes. And especially Fate, enough of pushing me around, you've already pushed me off the cliff.

I'm falling down the cliff. But will I land splat on the ground? No, no more. Not anymore. Fate can't push me around anymore, I'm already off the cliff. There's no way you can push someone when he's fallen off the cliff. I may have fell off the cliff, but not fallen. I won't fall to the ground. I won't. I won't let myself.

But can a man fly? Fate says so, but Fate can't push me around anymore. Have you forgotten I've fallen off the cliff? I'm halfway from the top of the cliff and the ground below, stuck in midair, feet not on solid rock. But can a man fly?

I will fly. But how can a man fly? Through sheer willpower, not even Fate can stop me...

But is it a man then? Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe I'm a legend by then.

No, I'll be more than a legend.


The skin lost to sarcasms shall be replaced with a leather hide, smooth and beautiful yet impervious. My flesh shall be replaced with the sparkles of the diamond, pure and a sight to behold, yet a force not to be trifled with. And from the darkest abyss I shall fly, full with pride and glory, reaching heights not even imaginable by Fate, yet already touched with the darker side of myself. Eternally, I shall be locked in battle within light and dark... the components that cannot live without the other, yet cannot exist together.

Yes, I'll be more than a legend in the history of man.

And I shall remind myself of this dream, from now onwards, forever.

Watch me people, world, and especially Fate, as I become something that is more than a legend.


"Through sheer willpower, not even Fate itself can stop me," NT2000, facing the Twelve Omnipotents of the Guilds, extracted from an unfinished novel written by me.





The Atrum Brachyura made a legend @ here

Untitled

“Tremble, o’ creatures of the light, in fear at the first sight of light” --- The Draximum

Paradoxical. I’m referring to that phrase up there. I mean, how can creatures of light, fear light? They’re after all, thrive on light itself. It is light which defines them. And yet, how did I come up with this paradoxical phrase?

Well, it just hit me that I’m a philosophically-paradoxical-inter-personality-challenged person… whatever that means. Ok, I’ll stop smoking around (no, no, not the one that causes lung cancer… I mean smokescreen) and put it in layperson terms. Simply put, I’m someone who can (or try to) think of a completely opposite form of something mentioned, and still maintain that both can exist. Alright, the so-called layperson terms still sounded kind of fuzzy to me. I’ll give a few examples. For the physicist to understand (and with my extremely limited knowledge of physics) I’ll use the example of a positron and an electron. Being me, it’s like saying that positron and electron can exist while still in contact with each other (which is implausible). For the mathematician, I’m someone who’ll create a statement so logical that when 1 subtracts 1, will be equal to 1 and 1 instead of 0. For the Zen-enthusiasts, I’ll maintain the statement of Light cannot exist without Dark, and vice versa.

Is that enough examples then? Yeah, if you’ve caught on to what I’m trying to say, I can also be classified as a contradictor. And yet, a contradictor who is harmonized… another paradoxical statement. I strive on finding that elusive perfect balance, the extreme of neutralities.

But why do I embrace such an ideology? I don’t know, maybe I’m just curious. Or fascinated. It challenges my logic. I understand many of the so-called Zen-like statements, though barely, yet am unable to explain it to anyone, not even to myself. I just somehow, understand that that’s the way it works.

And this has begun to scare me. Well, I kind of started embracing this ideology since… I started writing fiction. Always finding better storylines, with better twists and better, newer themes, I ventured to a relatively new domain… the one which questions our superiority as humans, and the retributions that are meted down to us from those which we once had thought are sins-embodied, but are actually our nature of not accepting that we are capable of evil and instead blame the state of us to others, which does not necessarily be other humans, but rather something else which we can criticize, vent our fury, stoned it, or just plain old hack-and-slash it. And I embraced the contradictory mind.

Yes, this embracement began at that time. Only a few years ago. When I had this grand scheme of things to become a somebody, to be not written down in history books, but remembered by all in a way that it crosses generations and still remains relevant.

I have a dream, to be a novelist, a revolutioner of the minds, but most of all, a legend.

And to achieve that, I need to have a great story. Characters which bonds. And to create such an empathy, I NEED to become the character. At first, it was easy. But then, I realize, I started spending more and more time on developing the characters, immersing in my own world. Basically, I’m day-dreaming like a kid. And this kind of freaked me out. I remembered Emily Dickinson. Through what little I was taught about he in school, she was a great and famous poet, but died alone. I remembered many other great writers/poets. None of them were… bright ending. Is this what I want?

And so, not long ago, I cast aside this need to be a legend. And fortunately, a devastating event happened at that time. It sapped me of my will and what little self-esteem which I have. This helped me to put away this legendary dream. But to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire?

“Through sheer willpower, nothing can stop me, not even Fate,” --- NT2000

Fortunately, I pulled through, horrified of the loneliness of a low-self-esteem life, which is strangely similar to the loneliness of being a legend. But that’s another story.

Even though this seemed the end, I still write my fiction then and now. But not as obsessive as before. However, I felt that the damage had been done.

Every now and then, I felt like I kept alternating between phases. Sometimes, I’m gloomy for no reason, others I’m annoying hyperactive. At times, I want a cocooned life, others I wanted to socialize like nobody’s business.

This is rather disturbing for me. It felt like, an incomplete 2^nd personality is exerting some control. And yet, I kind of like accept it. For something to exist, a total opposite of itself must exist. Yet, one cannot thrive while the other survives.

Which brings me to another point… what if this new found, rejuvenated me is really the 2^nd personality? Before this, not long ago, I’ll happily sit quietly at the corner, preferring others to make friends with me instead of me doing the other way round. And now, though not always, I’m on the look out of finding new acquaintances. Though, I still need to brush up on my skills of maintaining and deepening acquaintance relationships.

+another idea for another short story+

“Percepfus Imperialis!” and suddenly, she felt so vulnerable, her newfound confidence eroded completely.

+it ends here now+

LaiChii lost sight of the point again... @ here