LaiChii Flavoured Crab

2009-07-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

Fall of the Killer-Angels

A new drawing arrives! This time, it's themed from a new story/plot/novelette that I had, yet again managed to, sprung out of nothingness; or thin air. Or whatever. But I digress, again.

Basically, this picture shows a Killer-Angel, caught off gaurd by the sudden agility of the exoskeleton suit. Which, so happens to be unofficially, and affectionately, called by its superiors as the Angel-Killer.

Got this story idea after, well again, listening to the song of an old-ish anime. Song name? Azurite (both versions) from the Heroic Age ending theme. As a matter of fact, I even thought up an ending PV related to this story using Azurite as the ending theme. XD. A little too ambitious I guess.

Seeing that this story focuses heavily on heavy action and character development more through silent scenes, facial expressions and body language, I decided to draw a comic out of it, using big-eye manga art style.

Anywayz, outta here.

2009-03-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

More Random Drawings

Well, there's not much meaning behind this week's drawing. I just have a whim to draw these two characters. Actually, just wanted to draw something... Lolz.

Rikku, as outfitted in Final Fantasy X-2

Yuna, as outfitted in Final Fantasy X-2
(Somehow, this drawing looks a little weird. I can't figure out what)

LAI Chii Crab signs off here.

2009-03-03T21:18:00.001-08:00

Salvation for the Knight

Well, another blog post on my latest drawing. As the title implies, my current drawing’s title is “Salvation for the Knight”. Another alternative name (though doesn’t make much sense) that I’d prefer is “Salvation: Forthe Knight”. I accidentally discovered the alternative name when saving the file name without entering any spaces.

Anyway, I draw this drawing’s inspiration after listening repeatedly to the 2nd ending theme of Gundam 00 Season 2. The song’s titled “Trust You” and was sung by Yuna Ito. While he full version has been released, I found out that I prefer the TV size version, as this is where the inspiration was drawn from anyway.

Link to the TV size version: here

The song’s pretty touching in my opinion. Unlike other ballads or song genres that flow at this pace, this song isn’t angsty about lost or unattainable love, or even about love (the lovey-dovey kind of love), this song actually feels like it is dedicated to salvation. Nevermind the “I love you, I trust you” part of the chorus; I felt it wasn’t particularly directed to anything tangible, rather it is abstract.

*Whenever I’m referring to the “Trust You” song, it is by convention that I am referring to the TV size version, or the short version featured at the end of Gundam 00, rather than the fully released version*

The song began with a rather sad… maybe more on the tired-of-life kind of piano. Then the backup singer(s) came, giving the distinctive “HaH--HaH--HaH--HaH" tune to it. Honestly, this is the part which captivated me the most. Then came the rather slow rap-like singing of Yuna Ito.

While the verse gives the sense of tiredness (something like when we had just completed a tremendous task, and gave a sigh, but it isn’t a sigh of relief, more like just a sigh) to the song, the bridge (although short) injects some hope into it. It kind of gives the feeling like when we’re walking around aimlessly in a very large, very dark house, and then out in the window, we see a spotlight in the distance, tracing the ground and coming nearer to you so fast that, when it shines through the window and upon you, you were overwhelmed by the sheer brightness of it.

The chorus done its job, I would say that. But the part which really gave the inspiration to draw was the last line. At that moment, the picture that I had drawn immediately popped out in my head. The idea that I had wanted to give was that; salvation had descended. In fact, it was always there in the first place.

Till now, I haven’t decided that the Winged Salvation is an angel, or a valkyrie. Either way, it seems to impart salvation. I specifically chose a knight because of what people usually expected from a knight; honorable and ideally be a savior. However, as popularized by fictions (which, by some degree, could be based on some historical account), knights are a confused lot. They don’t know exactly what they are fighting for, being used more as a tool instead. As popularized, those that knew they were used as a tool became jaded and viewed that hope is just a mere figment of imagination. How would such a jaded knight feel, when in the midst of a battle frenzy, with the sword being swung around madly, the said knight were to suddenly come face-to-face with a tangible manifestation of hope?

LAI Chii Crab left here.

2008-06-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

More rambling - Tears of a Machine

This post is being dedicated to another drawing I’ve made (well, I can’t really seem to write about something else… too mundane to me. That’s why I never keep a diary… heck… regressing again =P).

Tears of a Machine

Simplicity. That was what I had in mind. And with that in mind, I finished this in about an hour (the fastest drawing that I’ve ever made). To be honest, I’ve finished this about last week, the same day I finished Project Armageddon. I’m just too lazy to make a dedicated post for this drawing. Anyway, back to topic.

With simplicity in my mind, I restrained myself from shading it (to reflect source of light) and also from adding background. Initially, I also wanted to add in more droplets, to spark questions whether it was really tears that flowed out from the subject (Machine), or just rain falling down.

It looked too crowded and clunky after adding more droplets, so I decided against it. As for the fonts, well, I have no sense of “font fashion”, so experts in the field (probability of 1 to drop by here seems… implausible) seeing this might cringe at the uncreative fonts. Nevertheless, using “flow” and/or “bubble” theme for Tears seems to illustrate the privilege of humanity, while straight, sharp, and the calculated randomness of the black/white tone paints the stereotypical thoughts on the efficient Machine.

This drawing was inspired by a scene in the prologue of the main story (my fiction story).

*Regression ahead… but otherwise on topic*

Drawing this got me thinking… how do we define humanity? Is it a privilege that is automatically bestowed upon any entity born as a human? More specifically, it is a privilege bestowed upon a class/group/category/hierarchy/yadda yadda as long as it includes the one which proclaim, while excluding as many as possible. Many seem to agree with this, consciously or subconsciously.

But the definition of humanity is still not yet addressed, so I will try to do so. In layman understanding (I’m going to avoid to the cliché “As the Oxford Dictionary defines yedde yedde”), it means showing compassion or do not commit acts of cruelty. And by cruelty, it means those which tugged at your heart/moral compass, including the many which got away due to loopholes exploited from the definition by the Law.

Seriously, if humanity is defined as such as the layman’s understanding, why in Earth do we need Law to define it to us? Or even people exploiting loopholes in Law?

If that is human’s humanity, so why impose it upon others? Why do some have to insist that this Earth is ours to partake, non-human existences is ours to abuse? On the same note, why do some insists that a non-human existence rights must be voiced out, using human’s law and definition? (Most of them meant well, but still, think…) We may have the right to partake some, if not all, but under what impression that we have the right to define all?

(Using a very cliché sci-fi scenario) What if sentience is found in non-human existence? For example, as being found in machines? A fully operational artificial intelligence? (while many skeptics said it is impossible, but yeah, why are humans making the definitions again… O.O). Is it alive then? If not, how do we know one? Does it breathe? Does it eat? Can it be creative? Can it think? Converse? Maybe does it have a soul? Or can it cry?

Perhaps, instead of trying to define it all, we should ask, why do we need to so eagerly define? It seems to me that it’s like a child, throwing a fit, trying to get noticed. (Yeah yeah, some may accuse me of doing so myself, and I do not deny the possibility. I’m still human, duh)

To borrow a quote from an anime, Ergo Proxy, (some people’s theater mind: Oh no! Not another anime freak! I’ve seen that from a mile away. Yidd yiddi yoddo yoddo yuddu yuddu.)

"I think, therefore you are"

The need for people to live, on the definition of other people, in order not to be ignored.

2008-06-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

Of Cobwebs and Dust - Clearing them all out

Whew, it seems like its been a while since I last post here (heck, it even seems like I haven't been visiting here too... o... whatever... technicalities technicalities...)

Well then, what am I going to do now? Nothing of interest (to the world) that had happened since the holidays began. Then, suddenly, I began to receive inspiration(s). I don't know the source of it, but I do know that whenever I got the feeling of an inspiration, I can draw and write! So maybe I'll be a little bit narcissistic by posting my drawings here!!! Wahahaha.

Project Armegeddon

This drawing took me 11 days to complete, from the day where I got that "inspiration feeling" (dang, that two words sounds weird) till today.

A little history first, before I go an monologue about my drawing. Project Armageddon is a little short story (which was completed, but I never wrote it down due to sheer laziness). Project Armageddon was born out of another novel in the works, and is a prequel to said novel, giving reasons for the antagonist's actions. If this short story of mine ever materialized as a book, this is the front cover that I would like it to have.

Now, about the drawing. This isn't my first time drawing stuff, but due to a lack of drawing lessons, the drawing didn't turn out quite as I expected. Although it didn't turn out as I had imagined, it still turned out well. I realized that in all my previous pursuit for perfection, the drawings turned out to be distorted. This time, I just let my fingers ran. Or was it my imagination? Anyway, the two main focuses of the drawing took a very good form (to the clueless, they're the tentacle-thingie and the beefed-up guy in a muscle-man-like pose... ok, they do have names, but I don't want to reveal their names just yet :P).

Initially, I wanted to finish the drawing there and then. But then, I thought, why don't I try inserting a background into it? Well, it was a challenge for me back then, as it always ended up being disastrous if I insert a background into it. This is mostly due to my lack of sense in dimensions and distances. The background would always appear warped as I tried to emulate how horizons would be viewed in reality.

Then, I thought, why don;t I go for a balance between perfection and oddity? Taking a lesson from CGI, where the closer we try to emulate reality through artificial means, the more we perceive it to be fake. (if you don't understand, compare between big-eyed anime drawings with for example Final Fantasy - The Spirits Within). With the oddities in the background being hidden in plain sight with the emulated reality, the background turned out quite well. Very well indeed!

Initially, while writing this post, I had imagined inserting some of life's values that I had gleaned from drawing this picture (yes, you read it right. I had a tendency of learning life values from almost any experiences that I encountered.). But then, I had a feeling that this post is getting too long, and also because I've forgetten what I wanted to write down. =P

Till next time!

2007-10-29T05:26:00.000-07:00

A 3^rd Personality Emerges

This is the darkest side which I had ever experienced in my life. I appreciate criticism, but I DO NOT appreciate criticism laced with sarcasms; unconstructive criticisms. I would have swallowed such things had it been 10 years ago, but wake up world, and especially Fate, I am NOT 10 years ago. I may be benevolent, but no matter how benevolent a volcano is, when it explodes, it really EXPLODES! Enough people, stop the sarcasms, you've already skinned me of all my skin, I shall not take any more criticisms. Enough world, stop prodding me around, I'm already full of holes. And especially Fate, enough of pushing me around, you've already pushed me off the cliff.

I'm falling down the cliff. But will I land splat on the ground? No, no more. Not anymore. Fate can't push me around anymore, I'm already off the cliff. There's no way you can push someone when he's fallen off the cliff. I may have fell off the cliff, but not fallen. I won't fall to the ground. I won't. I won't let myself.

But can a man fly? Fate says so, but Fate can't push me around anymore. Have you forgotten I've fallen off the cliff? I'm halfway from the top of the cliff and the ground below, stuck in midair, feet not on solid rock. But can a man fly?

I will fly. But how can a man fly? Through sheer willpower, not even Fate can stop me...

But is it a man then? Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe I'm a legend by then.

No, I'll be more than a legend.

The skin lost to sarcasms shall be replaced with a leather hide, smooth and beautiful yet impervious. My flesh shall be replaced with the sparkles of the diamond, pure and a sight to behold, yet a force not to be trifled with. And from the darkest abyss I shall fly, full with pride and glory, reaching heights not even imaginable by Fate, yet already touched with the darker side of myself. Eternally, I shall be locked in battle within light and dark... the components that cannot live without the other, yet cannot exist together.

Yes, I'll be more than a legend in the history of man.

And I shall remind myself of this dream, from now onwards, forever.

Watch me people, world, and especially Fate, as I become something that is more than a legend.

"Through sheer willpower, not even Fate itself can stop me," NT2000, facing the Twelve Omnipotents of the Guilds, extracted from an unfinished novel written by me.

The Atrum Brachyura made a legend @ here

2007-10-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

Untitled

“Tremble, o’ creatures of the light, in fear at the first sight of light” --- The Draximum

Paradoxical. I’m referring to that phrase up there. I mean, how can creatures of light, fear light? They’re after all, thrive on light itself. It is light which defines them. And yet, how did I come up with this paradoxical phrase?

Well, it just hit me that I’m a philosophically-paradoxical-inter-personality-challenged person… whatever that means. Ok, I’ll stop smoking around (no, no, not the one that causes lung cancer… I mean smokescreen) and put it in layperson terms. Simply put, I’m someone who can (or try to) think of a completely opposite form of something mentioned, and still maintain that both can exist. Alright, the so-called layperson terms still sounded kind of fuzzy to me. I’ll give a few examples. For the physicist to understand (and with my extremely limited knowledge of physics) I’ll use the example of a positron and an electron. Being me, it’s like saying that positron and electron can exist while still in contact with each other (which is implausible). For the mathematician, I’m someone who’ll create a statement so logical that when 1 subtracts 1, will be equal to 1 and 1 instead of 0. For the Zen-enthusiasts, I’ll maintain the statement of Light cannot exist without Dark, and vice versa.

Is that enough examples then? Yeah, if you’ve caught on to what I’m trying to say, I can also be classified as a contradictor. And yet, a contradictor who is harmonized… another paradoxical statement. I strive on finding that elusive perfect balance, the extreme of neutralities.

But why do I embrace such an ideology? I don’t know, maybe I’m just curious. Or fascinated. It challenges my logic. I understand many of the so-called Zen-like statements, though barely, yet am unable to explain it to anyone, not even to myself. I just somehow, understand that that’s the way it works.

And this has begun to scare me. Well, I kind of started embracing this ideology since… I started writing fiction. Always finding better storylines, with better twists and better, newer themes, I ventured to a relatively new domain… the one which questions our superiority as humans, and the retributions that are meted down to us from those which we once had thought are sins-embodied, but are actually our nature of not accepting that we are capable of evil and instead blame the state of us to others, which does not necessarily be other humans, but rather something else which we can criticize, vent our fury, stoned it, or just plain old hack-and-slash it. And I embraced the contradictory mind.

Yes, this embracement began at that time. Only a few years ago. When I had this grand scheme of things to become a somebody, to be not written down in history books, but remembered by all in a way that it crosses generations and still remains relevant.

I have a dream, to be a novelist, a revolutioner of the minds, but most of all, a legend.

And to achieve that, I need to have a great story. Characters which bonds. And to create such an empathy, I NEED to become the character. At first, it was easy. But then, I realize, I started spending more and more time on developing the characters, immersing in my own world. Basically, I’m day-dreaming like a kid. And this kind of freaked me out. I remembered Emily Dickinson. Through what little I was taught about he in school, she was a great and famous poet, but died alone. I remembered many other great writers/poets. None of them were… bright ending. Is this what I want?

And so, not long ago, I cast aside this need to be a legend. And fortunately, a devastating event happened at that time. It sapped me of my will and what little self-esteem which I have. This helped me to put away this legendary dream. But to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire?

“Through sheer willpower, nothing can stop me, not even Fate,” --- NT2000

Fortunately, I pulled through, horrified of the loneliness of a low-self-esteem life, which is strangely similar to the loneliness of being a legend. But that’s another story.

Even though this seemed the end, I still write my fiction then and now. But not as obsessive as before. However, I felt that the damage had been done.

Every now and then, I felt like I kept alternating between phases. Sometimes, I’m gloomy for no reason, others I’m annoying hyperactive. At times, I want a cocooned life, others I wanted to socialize like nobody’s business.

This is rather disturbing for me. It felt like, an incomplete 2^nd personality is exerting some control. And yet, I kind of like accept it. For something to exist, a total opposite of itself must exist. Yet, one cannot thrive while the other survives.

Which brings me to another point… what if this new found, rejuvenated me is really the 2^nd personality? Before this, not long ago, I’ll happily sit quietly at the corner, preferring others to make friends with me instead of me doing the other way round. And now, though not always, I’m on the look out of finding new acquaintances. Though, I still need to brush up on my skills of maintaining and deepening acquaintance relationships.

+another idea for another short story+

“Percepfus Imperialis!” and suddenly, she felt so vulnerable, her newfound confidence eroded completely.

+it ends here now+

LaiChii lost sight of the point again... @ here

2007-10-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

THE AFTERMATH

Oh my GOODNESS!!!???!!

Yup, that's what I've been saying (or rather spouting, spewing, spitting, totting, rattling... ect etc...) a lot lately. But why so? Coz... well... I seem to be wasting my all of my free time doing NOTHING!!! Ok, maybe it's not exactly nothing, since it's impossible to do nothing (since doing nothing is STILL doing something right? Coz the something that you're doing right now so happens to be nothing... but I digress... or is it regress? Ungress perhaps?). But... you get the idea. You don't? Well, let me clarify for you then.

It's been 3 days since I've finished yet another continuous assessment (aka CA... but please, don't pronounce it like penang hokkien ok?) last friday. And what did I do right after the exam, right at 12pm after getting back to PGP? Ooooo, I began a computer game marathon. Or specifically, a DOTA marathon. I still remember vaguely (has it been that long? I guess this memory deficiency's caused by lack of sleep...) that I played from 12.30 pm all the way, non-stop, till 9pm, nearly missing my dinner (due to the fact that the canteen closes at 9pm, but lucky lucky me). Then we headed to SRC for the October babies celebration. And guess what did I do right after that, arriving at PGP at 1 am? I continued my DOTA marathon... again. I told myself that I'll limit myself till 3 am, but then... after what seems to be like only 2 hours, we realized that... (below is an account of what happened at that fateful time... my memory may be messed up):

Yue Chuan (he's been studying in the same same room since we started) : *looks up from his books* Eh? *he's facing the windows*

Kai Sen & Madrid: *looks up from DOTA-ing* Walau leh!

Me: *Turns to face the windows* Alamak! Sudah pagi dah?

.... Yup, all six of us played through the night till 7.45 am... an amazing feat for me as I'm already functioning on borrowed time... Tha's when we decided we've had enough and pack up our stuffs and head back to our rooms to sleep. And well, before starting this night marathon, I said that this will be my last DT1101 lecture.

Six hours later, we're up and playing badminton... Dang... this is quite a tough regime... followed by futsal till 6pm...

And on the way back from dinner at Botak Jones (and also with extremely full bloated stomachs) we hatched another DT1101 lecture session... So long for my vow then... And we played till 3am... and again, I made a vow to stop playing DOTA...

We'll just have to see about that again till the next DOTA session...

Right now, today, I skipped my lecture for the first time coz my body finally caved in and refused to get up till I recharged myself. Guess this week onwards I'll be sleeping at 12am, and no long 2 or 3 am. Right now, I'm being sustained by a cup of coffee, but I don't know how long I can last before I had to upgrade to 5 cups a day.

And I just realized that I have a ton of assignments, lab reports and catching up to do this whole week... Great timing... juz when my body needs to recuperate... and I just realized that that damn PGP fire alarm went off... for a bout 10 minutes already... curse the smokers... well then... I guess I better stop now... as my blogging starts to be incoherent already...

+a short update for my upcoming short story+
"Why can't we just let it go?" she thought to herself, reminiscing the smell of burnt blood, from a being which aren't supposed to bleed, "Why do we always... always... have to be the apple... of the eye?"

LaiChii lost sight of the point again... @ here

2007-10-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

How long has it been?

Yeah, just how long has it been really? Since the last time I've entered a new post? It seems like 2 months ago. Well, to think that I would have already abandon my blog, but noooo, just when I'm running out of time (2 very difficult assignments to do, 2 CAs this week... YIKES!!!) I have to get distracted to something else. Sheesh... I'm kind of getting feed up with destiny pushing me around with the exact same magnitude, but different in sign (why am I speaking physics-ish? I despissssseee physicsssssss... crapssss, my gollum personality'ssssss backsssss).

Well, since I'm here anyway... I think I forgot what I had initially wanted to blog about. Oh well, just blog some other thing. Well, let's see... DOTA is evil. But evilly good. It destroys your time faster than you can say "huh?" , but sooo stress relieving, really. Then... ah! I remembered what I wanted to blog!

Dang! I love SP1201. All that research that we have to do for the debate, really gave me alot of inspiration. And after nearly half a year of no inspiration, I've found a theme for a new short story!

Haha, it's not final, but this's the initial title : Children of the Parent. What's it about? Nope, not telling you, coz I have a lil paranoia about my ideas being stolen XD. Ok ok, some details. I've imagined the openning scene to be a crime scene. The building's all in bleak gloomy color. Someone has been found dead, and the protagonist was watching atop one of the dilapidated buildings. As the police wonders what in the earth is going on with the town (this is the 15th such case found), the protagonist continues her pursuit of the fugitive. She had been sent by her employers to hunt down someone, someone so shocking that single-handedly could shatter the very foundations of all faith. And she has to do it fast, or all the vital officers would be picked off in no time. However, like every twist in a story, there is something else lurking behind the shadows of deceit, something too difficult to be comprehended.

"Aren't we all," the eyes stared straight through her soul, "Children of the Parent?"

Laichii flavored crab signs off

2007-08-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

OG Outing Episode 2 – Attack of Clarke Quay

To start off today’s entry, I gave an incredibly, and unbelievably lame title for it. Dang, I should be doing my tutorial homework now, instead of blogging, but, oh well, if I don’t blog now, I’ll never be able to blog.

This time, this OG outing was organized by Yuan Hua.

After my cluster cleaning exercise, we PGPRians (JoLane, Jing Qiang, and me!) headed for Clarke Quay. Though we reached there qqquuuitte late (well, the rest were waiting for us Ma-lai-sii-ia lang… tsk tsk), we managed to get an entire large table for our OG. The restaurant is a Japanese shop specializing in making ramen. Hmmm, I never exactly know the difference between ramen and yellow mee, but well, maybe it’s nice?

As usual, when a certain restaurant specializes in something, that something is gonna cost us. Looking at the menu, I suddenly lost my hunger. XD … Lowest price for ramen’s $12.80… T_T there goes my money again…

My Negi Chilli Something Ramen finally arrived, and I must say, it tasted kind of good! I especially liked the meat. The black pig (I think) meat has some sweetness in it… can’t really define it, since I’m not good at words. But it wasn’t as spicy as I thought. Oh, well, maybe it’s better that way, since I’ve got lab session the next day.

Most of my OG mates ordered Kyushu (or Byushu? I forgotten the name Lol) ramen, the one recommended by the restaurant’s menu. It looked kind of nice, but I didn’t taste it since I’m quite full. Maybe next time XD.

This is when Edlyne finally arrived! I think she got lost finding this restaurant lol. Well, anyway, she brought along with her two packets of durians!!! Yum! Unfortunately, since this is a restaurant, we didn’t eat those durians… not yet anyway =D… And we just discovered that JoLane doesn’t eat durians! Wakakakakaka!!!

Yun Yau ordered some sort of ramen (is it called ramen? Or something else?) where you soaked it in some sort of sauce. Personally, the dish has no taste, but according to him, the dish is eaten for its texture and softness of the ramen.

After this, we wandered around (albeit for just a short while) the mall (where the restaurant is located in) and stopped by a stall specializing in gelato (note the specializing… wallet wallet, you’re gonna be as thin as me…). I think it’s called Gauche? For $4, we could get 2 scoops. Actually, I think it’s quite value for money, so after much consideration, I finally bought a cup (also due to indirect peer pressure XD). There’s just so many flavours to choose from, but I’ll just have to settle for two. Anyway, I could always get some tasting from the others lol. But that’s not all, as we met one of Singapore’s celebrities, Edward! Haha, we took a group photo with him. Kind of friendly and easy going.

The gelato was very nice, and while wandering not far from the gelato stall, we bumped into another celebrity! After another group photo again, we headed out from the mall, but not before Xuan De buoying another scoop, this time it’s Rum N’ Raisins! The first time I’ve tasted rum in ice-cream! And the taste was just… mmmhhhmmm, incredible.

Well, anyway, we decided to walk around Clarke Quay and take in the night life. There, the entire walkway was sheltered by large interconnecting umbrella-like roofs. Furthermore, there’s these huge holey-things scattered around Clarke Quay. According to Xuan De, it’s a climate control of some sort. If the weather’s too hot, it spews out cooling air… if I remembered correctly… lol.

After that, we settled at a bridge and played the numbers game (ok ok, I don’t know what’s it called, but the objective’s to NOT to guess the number set by the game master). And the forfeit? Eat DURIAN!!! Wakakakakakaka… After a few rounds, where almost everyone ate the durian, the suspense increases so high that JoLane stopped playing the game. But she still can’t escape from our durian breath!

After this, well, we headed back to our respective places. We actually walked from Clark Quay all the way to Outram Park station. >.< We passed by Chinatown, where it is one of the few places in Singapore where firecrackers can be played (although only during special occasions, like Chinese New Year).

As usual, the PGPRians had to chase after the fleeing train… again >.< . And took a cab back… again… because the 183 bus wouldn’t come.

After reaching back to PGPR, I finally set food into that elite-looking Super Snack outlet, selling (maybe, I’m not sure) inflated priced snacks. Waffles with chocolate cost bout $1.50… maybe it’s quite cheap. Haven’t tried it yet. But, I finally found rootbeer! Wouldn’t miss a chance to drink it!

It’s eleven at night when I finally hit the sack. Whew, a long night, but definitely a fun one!

2007-08-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

What to do what to do…

Umm, I think it’s more like:

“What the hell am I doing????? It’s nearly twelve midnight!!! And I haven’t even if mugged anyone (whoops… I think it should be anything… the effects of stress combined with deprivation of sleep… >.<). And for Earth’s sake!!! Next week’s my test!!!! ARRRRR!!!!!

*Looks at the person responsible who ^“prodded” me to update my blog*

“YOU!!!” reenacts crazed look in eyes, “YOU!!! Gack!!!”

End of blog.

Ok, that would be a very lame entry, and an even lamer try at reviving my blog if I ended my blog there, desu ka? (whatever that means… XD). So, what am I going to write over here? Hmmmm, urusai (again, whatever that means, Ichigo seems to like saying that kind of stuff) … haven’t been posting a single entry since I came here because I was too busy.

Hehe, maybe I’ll fine some other time to update with the events?

Ish ish ish… leaving things to another day again. Well, if I want to leave that to another, I still should put in a good entry for this to qualify as a blog entry, and not just another yakking around.

So, here, I humbly list down all the things I plan to do while in NUS… for this sem (sing along ala Bryan McKnight’s “Back at One”:

Plan 1, I plan to study hard

2, I wanna jog every day (or nite, or noon, or dusk, or dawn, or…)

3, I’ll reduce my surfing time (hey, its free and fast over here)

And the list goes on ever and

Plan 4, try to sleep early

5, try to figure out what I’m doing right now (this is wayyyy off the rhythm)

6, Why do people like fishing?

And that’s all, coz I don’t really have a plannn…

Ok, that really was very… sejuk…

And this is the end of this entry.

^ well, who’s this person? If you thing you’re that person, drop a comment and I’ll tell you whether or not you’re the culprit who $#&^ made me feel so *&*(% guilty so that I had to )_^%@! ppdate my blog when I should be )(^### mugging the %$%@! notes.

^.^

2007-07-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

Did the Xel'Nagas let the Zerg go?

For this week’s entry, I’m going to put my views on why the Xel’Nagas are probably never truly destroyed by the Zerg:

As far as I’ve led to believe by Blizzard, Zerus was surrounded by an unspecified (but a lot of) number of Xel’Naga Worldships. If the Xels did not interfere in the assimilation of genes by the Zerg, then they were just watching intently in order to see the evolution of the purity of essence. And they still didn’t interfere when the Overmind cut off communications with the Xels. What is more confusing is that before the Overmind cut of communications, while still psionically linked to the Xels, It thought about assimilating the Xels, though maybe just for a short moment. Shouldn’t the Xels have detected it? Further more, if you started seeing space-based creatures flying into the atmosphere of a planet, wouldn’t you be the least intrigued? It seems that the Xels were just too stupid to project the possible plans of the Overmind. Or were they really that stupid?

Which brings me to another point: What if they allowed it to happen? They did see the appearance of the pre-Mutalisks, yet just let them passed by. The Xels could have possibly made/introduced those pre-Mutalisks into the star system of Zerus, since the Xels could possibly create primitive creatures but failed to achieve the purity in their creations. It felt like the Xels were just giving new toys for the Overmind to study It’s reaction.

Another point is that the Xels had totally surrounded the planet, placing it under one giant microscope. Shouldn’t they have anticipated the probability of an attack? I mean, if the Zerg could overwhelm the Xels through superior numbers, then the Overmind must had been Overworking to pump out those little broods, which would then cover the entire planet. A population boom gone unnoticed? What is more interesting is the mention of the Xels’ capital ships. Worldships? Either Blizzard is out of names or maybe the ships really lived up to their names. Ships the size of planets, perhaps? Taking out the problem of gravity exerted by those ships, the Zerg had to practically defeat an army the size of a few (at least, since Blizzard did mention a lot) planets, while only having the resources of one planet to spend? Could the Xels possibly let the Zerg win?

On the Zerg assimilating the Xels, what if those aren’t really Xels? Maybe their body double? The body doubles where the Xels impart only certain knowledge to, like the psionic signature to fool the Overmind into thinking those are the real Xels, and also the knowledge of the existence of the Protoss, minus the location of the Protoss homeworld. If the Zerg really had absorbed the Xels, then they would have gained the location of Aiur. Why is the Overmind still in the dark?

Then, there are those few Xels that escaped. The real Xels? Did they really escape from the Zerg, or are they just camouflaging, just like how field scientists hide themselves after releasing their animal subject in order to continue their study?
What if the Xels, even until to Starcraft: Ghost, still studying the Zerg and the Protoss? To study the requirements for the creation of purity. To see if the purity of essence would do something they had been trying to do – perfection through the assimilation of the purity of form?

2007-06-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

OF REVIVING THIS BLOG, MUSIC THERAPY, AND GOODBYES

The 1st ANNIVERSARY of the existence of my BLOG!!! So, to commemorate this special occasion, I will revive this blog… and make a new resolution to regularly update it… I hope… So let’s just start with the topic alright?

Music. Well, everyone’s heard of it right? I mean, not just the word MUSIC, but actually listened to some kind of form of music, one form or another. But what is music? Some argued that it’s what singers do for a living, that is, singing songs, belting out hits after hits, screaming, rapping, yapping… and so on and so forth. Some said it’s just about smashing guitars, beating drums or playing any kind instrument. But I’m not writing here today about what’s music and what isn’t. No, I’m absolutely not talking about that. That’s just me… doing the long-winding way, beating around the bush… dilly-dallying you could say. I’m just doing what I’m doing.

So, here’s the point of my writing. What is music therapy? NOTE of CAUTION. I didn’t do any research whatsoever on music therapy. What do you think? I’m writing this at 11.45pm, for Earth’s sake!!! Do you think I have time to do a research? So… I REPEAT, I did not do any kind of research on MUSIC THERAPY, so what I’m writing here is just my interpretation… or more likely… about ME!!! (There is go again… dilly-dallying)

Ok, so let’s get back to the point. What is music therapy? Well, most would agree that music therapy involves plugging one’s ears with the earphones, filling the ear with any kind of music that suits our fancy (or the extremely inconsiderate ones would be doing a “community service” e.g. blasting noise at max from the stereo). Yes, to some, it helps soothe their overly anxious nerves. To others, it helps them focus on their work, which most students would be more than willing to agree with me on that one. Yup, some can study with music, while others (e.g. yours truly) would get distracted, because I want to appreciate the music.

But music therapy in my interpretation? Well, I used it as some sort of storage space… I guess. What? Storage space? Yes, folks, you read that right. STORAGE SPACE. I actually use it as a storage space. Well, not literally to store my stuffs like books or clothes, but to keep… sensitive information. I would call that emotions. For a (former) introvert, it’s difficult to voice out what I want. It’s usually others first. So where do all these excess energy went to? I keep in music, of course.

Have you ever listened to a nice song, and realized that you just want to repeat it over and over and over again? And how could that song just seem so right at that time? I believe it’s affected by our moods. If we’re happy, we tend to listen to happy songs. If we’re angry, we go for rampage-inducing songs. For me, if I’m feeling extremely emotional at that time, an appropriate song will just come to me. And when I’m finally worn down, beaten to a pulp by this emotion, I’ll listen to that particular music. All the emotions slowly melt away and flowed into that song. It calms the mind, and soothes the soul. And then, the song gets chucked somewhere else, hardly to be listened to again, even if it’s a very nice song. You see, if I were to listen to that song again, no matter how much time has passed, I would remember the time, the event, the feeling, the details, the emotions when I first stored them into the song. So, yeah, music isn’t just a therapy to me, it becomes some sort of my second memory.

Will I listen to the songs again, even if some of them are guardians to my most hurtful emotions? Those that left scars? Wounds that could never close properly? Maybe. Why not? There’s one thing I’ve learned from these past 2 years… the past is there, so that we can look forward to the future, but most of all, to make us appreciate of the present.

P.S. Today’s entry is very inconsistent in content and structure, because I was too lazy to double check :P.

P.S.S. Oh, yeah, so what’s my music for 30/06/2007? Well, it’s For Fruits Basket (By Ritsuko Okazaki). A very nice song, quite touching actually. Fits exactly the mood and event of these past few days. Even down to the lyrics.

P.S.S.S. Have a great life at uni, to all my friends! “Let’s stay together itsumo”

2007-01-11T23:13:00.000-08:00

Space Battles: Battlecruisers, Frigates, and Squadrons of Fighters

New development in my current game! Now I've got the controls for the Battlecruiser working, along with all the sub-compartments! If you'll look at the screenies, everything sticks properly! See those six black dots on the wings? They're the turrets! And they're firing black bullets (why oh why do I give them both the same graphics? Well, it IS still in development stage). And also, I've managed to make the fighters must around in squardrons, albeit they're random movement. Still cannot put in formations. My skills are still rather raw. And see that small fork-shaped thingie? It's a frigate, firing red-hot red coloured ion beams (ok ok, right now it looks like red coloured blocks. But hey, maybe blocks deal more damage than ion beams in space)! Well, that's all right now.I'll definitely keep on working on this game. When it's finish, prepare for massive Space Battles!

2007-01-08T01:09:00.000-08:00

Space Battles: Battlecruiser's Birth

This is my current project. Nothing much to the game yet, though I've managed to draw the main attraction of the game, the Battlecruiser. Check out my (HORRIBLE) drawing of it. It looks... kind of familiar, but I can't get my mind on where it might had been taken from.

2007-01-07T04:47:00.000-08:00

Confederacy at War

My very first game!!! It's titled...well...confederacy at war. However, don't come expecting state-of-the-art commercial quality game. My game-making skills are still very much in its infantcy (did I spell it right?), so... in my own opinion, this first game of mine is very horrible. :P

If you're interested, download it at : http://ultrashare.net/hosting/fl/9e1518f8dc/ or http://rapidshare.de/files/30820829/Confederacy_at_War.zip.html

Feast your eyes on some screenshots, (the ships' sprites are done by me!) :

Keep your carriers alive while destroying all Green bombers!

Green bombers are racing to the finish line! SHOOT THEM DOWN!!!!!!

Now you're talking naval warfare. Gunboats, anti-aircraft ships, carriers and frigates going for free for all. Also, watch out for enemy fighters and bombers! A glimpse of the mighty destroyer, if you're lucky, for the sequel is in this 3rd level too!

2006-07-20T01:14:00.000-07:00

Human intelligence – Just a mere 2 million years in evolution?

The real thing (and also many, many, many other things, but that’s not my point right now) that truly separate humans from other species is our intelligence. Compared to any other known species on the Earth, human skull, or more appropriate, human brain to body ratio is abnormally high. No other creatures have the brain capacity that is analogous to humans. What could have caused this?

While having breakfast today, this question popped out in my head, followed very closely by this hypothesis that I have thought up. Could this large ratio (let’s call it an abnormality, at least in evolution terms) be caused by racism?

The issue of racism could very well have begun after the genus Homo (where humans are grouped as) began to diverge into different species (of which the current dominant ones are the species sapiens). As all the different species of humans began to grow, territory became scarce. A tribal war could have ensued, where the weaker species were totally eliminated, leaving a few behind. This competition could have dragged on, until enmity grew into grudge. Tribes of one species could have forbidden communications with those of other human species, and the younger generations were taught to hate the others, in other words, difference.

With a twist of chance (not fate), only one species is left. But this is not the Homo sapiens, not yet anyway. This species soon re-spread their influence over the world (if you believe the hypothesis of all humans began in Africa), and the further they get from homeland, the less likely they return, and soon made permanent settlement. Due to geography, adaptations were made and this species began to evolve races to match their environment.

Then, isolation followed by closely. Continents could have shifted (this, I’m not sure), cutting of any possible contact.

Now, since this species were taught to hate difference, and if one race comes into contact with the other, they would normally shun them. Breeding with the other races could be forbidden. Only interbreeding is allowed. This soon took a toll on the humans’ gene pool.

I have observed that the higher the class of animals, i.e. the more pairs of chromosomes they have, the easier it is for their genes to be spoiled when pure or close-to-pure breeding is employed. In other words, animals of the lower life forms do not suffer damage to their genes even if they were to perform incest, yet pedigree dogs, which are breed through pure breeding with close relatives, suffer a multitude of abnormalities.

Since humans have the most pairs of chromosomes (I think), this interbreeding could cause the genes to be damaged in as little as the next 3 generations. Most abnormalities are fatal, yet maybe some are beneficial (it must be understood that abnormalities does not equal to bad, it just means out of the norm). Beneficial like the abnormally large brain/body ratio. Some could be too large for the body to support, but eventually, a compromise is reached to the current form, after much destruction to the human genes.

So, what do you think?

2006-07-06T02:01:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE TOPS????????!!!!!!

Date, 13/07/2006. Today, I had the rudest awakening in my entire life. I never imagine that I’d see this day, today, happen so soon. All this while, I was under the impression that such bias-ism (whether such word exists is not of debate right now) would only occur when we left this institution, but NOOOOOOOO it had to happen right NOW!

You see, on this day, all the girls were requested (more like dictated, you know, as in a dictator if you ask me) to go to the hall. I had the feeling something fishy is going to come out of this. Well, it turns out it’s not so bad, except for the problem that it’s worst than I expected. All the girls were given instructions, (maybe I’m being a little too kind, change that to force-fed) on how to behave. There were not more than 30 rules to be followed, which included no running, no raising the voice, no tapping on boy’s shoulder, cannot stand near boy’s, bla bla bla… you know, the norm with such rule-makers.

Okay, before you Support-to-admin-no-matter-how-funny-the-rules-are-even-after-careful-LOGICAL-BRAINSTORMING supporters throw me into a vat of radioactive waste materials; let me state my stand first.

First, I DO SUPPORT the rules dished out by the admin, to a certain extent that is. Second, I DO understand the predicament of the admin. Third, I DO understand that what the admin are doing is for our own sake. Fourth, I DO understand that I don’t really understand how in earth does the degree of their understanding on understanding the way we understand ourselves as opposed to their understanding on their fictional understand on our understanding of this un-understanding situation. Understand? No? I don’t either, but we do understand each other now, Support-to-admin-no-matter-how-funny-the-rules-are-even-after-careful-LOGICAL-BRAINSTORMING supporters, don’t we?

After 3 I DO’s (heck, sounds like a wedding vow) and lots of cannot be understood understandings, now let the other side of me to talk. After all, Support-to-admin-no-matter-how-funny-the-rules-are-even-after-careful-LOGICAL-BRAINSTORMING supporters always tell this side to understand the admin, but must it be every time? Shouldn’t the other party be understood too?

The other party case:Let’s see, which one do we pick… I know! Let’s start with the running and raising voice thingy. What, girls aren’t supposed to run? What do they do? Walk politely (definition, the admin’s polite) around the area? Half an inch for every step? You gotta be kidding me. But NOOO, they’re not. Then the talking part. Errr, I don’t really get this part, you know. Although it looks nice in the movies when the supporting actresses speak in soft voice, but in reality, it’s just not practical! Some girls speak with such authority that I am in dire need of a hearing aid just to hear them speak in their miniscule 1 decibel voice. Fortunately, most girls talk in audible tones, or else I’ll basically just have to literally pull out my ear drum and insert into their voice box just to hear them. But I digress. But then again, maybe such a doomsday scenario may occur now that such a ruling is employed.

Come to think of it, now that girls have to speak softer than a statue, the guys have to move closer just to make sense of what their other counterpart is trying to project. This presents another headache. One of the rules states that girls must not be near to any boys. I don’t know how “near” is defined, but I think that it includes from 500 meters (okay, okay, maybe just a little exaggerated, make that 10 cm) to touching. And that’s exactly the distance which the guys need to get into just to catch anything that makes sense form the girls mouth. Come to think of it, again, since the girls have to speak in such inaudible “noise”, how are they going to call other people, since their loud-silence calls cannot get anyone’s attention, nor can they physically tap lightly, gently and briefly on shoulder’s? Heck, since they can’t touch any boys, how are they going to survive Canteen-Time? Sit there and wait for the boys to disperse, which equals to recess over, and then buy food which at that time would have been totally wiped clean by the boys. Is the admin going to segregate male and female (now, 1 2 3, booooooo sexists!), or maybe everyone are given full-body-radioactive protection suits? Right now, I’m giggling madly the entire while typing this paragraph. Soon, the guys may just be disinterested in conversing with the girls. Maybe, that’s what The Others wanted. But let’s just leave that to Agent Mulder and Scully (The X-files intro music playing)

Then, there are some rules which are biased against the girls, and also claerly insults the guys. Stuff like no shorts, skirts below the knees sort of stuff. Not that I’m encouraging hot pants and mini skirts, but there are just circumstances where it is not feasible to wear long track bottoms or skirts that mops the floor. If Support-to-admin-no-matter-how-funny-the-rules-are-even-after-careful-LOGICAL-BRAINSTORMING supporters say adapt to the circumstances, I have this to ask, why don’t you do it first? But I “ascend” to their level of debate. Back to the topic, so what if girls wear such attire to school? Okay, maybe uniforms are uniforms (I totally respect uniforms, so if anyone suggest mini-hot pants for established uniforms, I’m joining the Support-to-admin-no-matter-how-funny-the-rules-are-even-after-careful-LOGICAL-BRAINSTORMING supporters in whacking you, even if they’re still after me) and also that certain area must be respected by wearing proper attire, but what I’m trying to question here are the reason they implement these rules. It’s as if they’re saying that all guys are lust maniacs, 24-7 thinking about lusts. Well, maybe for those supporters (since it takes a greater one to know one, maybe imagine one), but, HELLO, wake up will you? Do you think all guys are so free to think such stuff? Do you think that guys don’t have anything better to do but think lusty stuff when they see girls in that attire? Can’t they just be admiring the fashion, and not fantasizing (although the fashion part may be a little far-fetched, but still…possible)? Jeez, the understanding of some people keeps astounding me.

If any of Support-to-admin-no-matter-how-funny-the-rules-are-even-after-careful-LOGICAL-BRAINSTORMING supporters as so much suggests that this is to ensure that no lusty and pervert guys are made, think again (I would have written a much more emotionally charged word, but maybe ‘think again’ would be a better replacement than ‘CENSORED you!’)! Time and again, it has been proven that it is the LARGER and more POWER holding part of society that creates such monsters. Shielding, and not exposing, them for elements that they deem… ‘Alien’ (e.g. like those attires mentioned before) only made them lust for more. You see, those who are exposed to such things and also educated on how to handle such emotions properly hardly look twice when facing such situation, even less thinking about it. In another way, they’ve come to know that beauty on the surface is nothing, so why waste time drooling around and fantasizing? Just glance once, acknowledge the person, and continue on their business. Now, in contrast, the shielded person usually drools and drools until we have to build another Ark for the massive flood, not to mention continuously eye lustily and fantasize like nobodies business, heck, even act physically disrespectfully on even decently (again, in supporter’s terms) dressed lady.

Then, another reason for doing so, they claim, is that they spotted too maybe couples in intimate with each other. So? How intimate can they be? Holding hands and hugs are the furthest I’ve seen in public and not other kind of over-the-edge stunts. If they’re worried that we may act the over-the-edge stunts when exposed to such hand-holding-hug things, then I assured you, we will not. To quote your own words (yes, YOU supporters’ words), whatever that is not seen by them, they will not know. So, let me ask you back, we did not see such over-the-edge stunts happen in the public, are we going to know how to do it? How do you implicate such holding-hand-hug to tapping on shoulder? It baffles me, it really do. And if you say that I’m just being stupid, you’re inadvertently eating back at your own words, because I’m just like you, humans.

On their final defense, supporters may say that they know what’s best for “the girls and boys” by shielding them from the elements. I say, why don’t you help and guide them, instead of dictating your values and understanding to them? If the high-ups, tops, admin whatever still don’t get that phrase, let me rephrase it in another sense:

“If God is so powerful and good, why doesn’t He just destroy all the evil and let just the good live?”

…

Stun?

You should be. Why? Why doesn’t He just destroy all evil? The reason is, because he loves us all. As much as a parent loves their child. If you had a child, and the child wants to skateboard, do you stop the child from learning part of the meaning of life, that is pain, just because you’re afraid the child will fall? Do you take away all the sense of responsibility and fun and life out from the child just to protect? What do you left if you do that? An empty shell, no longer a child, but just a creature that is so void and lifeless that even a robot crudely made from cold hard tin felt much warmer. Is this love?

Or maybe do you let the child skateboard, and fall, but you will always be there to guide and help the child to rise back on two feet? To continue to skate, and maybe fall a few more times, all the while guiding the child, until the child grows and finally overcome the fall? Which is the better option? Just how much do you love those “girls and boys”?

2006-06-30T00:06:00.000-07:00

My very first blog!!! Now, let’s see what I should do with all those empty space in here. Mmmpppphhhhh….An hour later…Still thinking…Another hour later…Well, I could start from when I woke up. The alarm clock did not ring again, as usual. All I got from it was a muffled sound, something like beating a drum with holes on its surface. Still, thanks to my own body clock, I woke up and slam off the clock with its imaginary ringing. Maybe I shouldn’t treat it so harshly. After all, it had been serving me for nearly 3-4 years already, plus all those accidental crash on the floor. What? You don’t believe me? I swear, I don’t abuse alarm clocks! THEY abuse me! Anyway, its all those routine zombie-walking, bumping into wall, brushing teeth with half-opened eyes, etc, etc. However, today’s breakfast menu’s different. I had a piece of chocolate cake and a cup of cappuccino. Nice! I don’t usually have those for breakfast, but since today’s a special day, I need that high glucose, caffeine concoction, adrenaline pump.

The gate’s locked again! Crap, I had to walk all the way to the other end of the building just to get into my class, which means that I had to walk all the way back to the other end of the building on the second floor, near the locked gate, before entering my class. Sigh.

At the end of the second period, I was beginning to get worried. Where’s he? My partner and I are supposed to do a PowerPoint presentation today, but I still don’t see him! ABSENT!!!!!!!!????????? NO! I’ve prepared everything, done the entire typing job, and all he had to do was just to present his part of the presentation, and he chickened out at the LAST MINUTE???!!!!! THAT’S IT! I’m doing a solo job this time. Basically, all this time it’s just me, no we. Fine. On the other hand, this could the right time to execute Project Dragon.

The third bell rang, and it’s presentation time. After the laptop and projector were set up, I began. And what an unlucky start. The opening credits, perfectly timed in my computer, went haywired during the presentation. Well, at least my name could be viewed for that first few seconds.

It’s only the third slide when the teacher commented on my stutter. O great, the very one thing that I could not overcome. It’s not that I am nervous, (come to think of it, this is the first time I’m not nervous when talking in front of the class. So far, so good for Project Dragon.) but, maybe my adrenaline’s a wee bit too much. Maybe I shouldn’t eat that chocolate cake…nah. The intended jokes hit the spot, much to my relieve, the ideas and sentences flowed quite smooth (though with those stutterring, maybe its not so smooth) but I began to get a little panic when I present the part that my partner supposedly PROMISE to present. Still, I pulled it quite well, for an impromptu presentation.

Basically, I did quite well, even the teacher commented that the content was complete. However, he said my presentation skills are bad, marred by my constant fast-paced stutter. Well, one thing at a time. Project Dragon can be considered began with an explosive start.